Coffee Klatch

Last night someone told me that today was Pie Day. At least, that’s what I heard. I got to thinking about different kinds of pie and how fun that could be to celebrate. Then I looked on a calendar this morning and saw that it wasn’t “pie,” but “PI” Day! And then I looked at the date again and it made perfect sense! Today’s date is 3.14.

I suppose technically the Pi MOMENT was at 1:59:27 this morning. And that’s as far as I ever really learned Pi: 3.1415927. For most practical purposes, that’s good enough.

So celebrate International PI Day today! Draw some circles or measure some diameters!

Or even better, listen to this interesting take on Music a la Pi. Tom Dukich took the numbers 0-9 and made them represent a rest (0) and then notes going up a major scale. He calls it Pi to 1,000 Places: Piano Solo.

So I’m driving to work this morning and listening to the Oldies station, 101.9 FM, and they bring up JFK’s “love child,” a guy who was born two days before the assassination and who apparently looks a ton like him. His name is Jack Worthington and he now lives in Canada. He doesn’t want any money or anything; he just wants to know for sure and is asking for DNA samples from the family so he can be tested.

To keep with the theme, and also for Valentine’s Day, the next song they played was “Love the One You’re With.” I laughed through the whole song! What a song to play on Valentine’s Day during a morning show!

THE TWELVE THANK-YOU NOTES OF CHRISTMAS

My dearest darling Edward, Dec 25
What a wonderful surprise has just greeted me! That sweet partridge, in that lovely little pear-tree; what an enchanting, romantic, poetic present! Bless you, and thank you.

Your deeply loving
Emily
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Beloved Edward, Dec 26

The two turtle-doves arrived this morning, and are cooing away in the pear-tree as I write. I’m so touched and grateful!

With undying love, as always,
Emily
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My darling Edward, Dec 27

You do think of the most original presents! Who ever thought of sending anybody three French hens? Do they really come all the way from France? It’s a pity we have no chicken coops, but I expect we’ll find some.
Anyway, thank you so much; they’re lovely.

Your devoted Emily
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Dearest Edward, Dec 28

What a surprise! Four calling birds arrived this morning. They are very sweet, even if they do call rather loudly–they make telephoning almost impossible–but I expect they’ll calm down when they get used to their new home. Anyway, I’m very grateful, of course I am.

Love from Emily
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Dearest Edward, Dec 29

The mailman has just delivered five most beautiful gold rings, one for each finger, and all fitting perfectly! A really lovely present! Lovelier, in a way, than birds, which do take rather a lot of looking after. The four that arrived yesterday are still making a terrible row, and I’m afraid none of us got much sleep last night. Mother says she wants to use the rings to “wring” their necks. Mother has such a sense of humor. This time she’s only joking, I think, but I do know what she means. Still, I love the rings.

Bless you,
Emily
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Dear Edward, Dec 30

Whatever I expected to find when I opened the front door this morning, it certainly wasn’t six socking great geese laying eggs all over the porch. Frankly, I rather hoped that you had stopped sending me birds. We have no room for them, and they’ve already ruined the croquet lawn. I know you meant well, but let’s call a halt, shall we?

Love,
Emily
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Edward, Dec 31

I thought I said NO MORE BIRDS. This morning I woke up to find no more than seven swans, all trying to get into our tiny goldfish pond. I’d rather not think what’s happened to the goldfish. The whole house seems to be full of birds, to say nothing of what they leave behind them, so please, please, stop!
Your Emily
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Jan 1

Frankly, I prefer the birds. What am I to do with eight milkmaids? And their cows! Is this some kind of a joke? If so, I’m afraid I don’t find it very amusing.

Emily
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Look here, Edward, Jan 2

This has gone far enough. You say you’re sending me nine ladies dancing. All I can say is, judging from the way they dance, they’re certainly not ladies. The village just isn’t accustomed to seeing a regiment of shameless viragoes, with nothing on but their lipstick, cavorting round the green, and it’s Mother and I who get the blame. If you value our friendship, which I do (less and less), kindly stop this ridiculous behavior at once!

Emily
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Jan 3

As I write this letter, ten disgusting old men are prancing up and down all over what used to be the garden, before the geese and the swans and the cows got at it. And several of them, I have just noticed, are taking inexcusable liberties with the milkmaids. Meanwhile the neighbors are trying to have us evicted. I shall never speak to you again.

Emily
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Jan 4

This is the last straw! You know I detest bagpipes! The place has now become something between a menagerie and a madhouse, and a man from the council has just declared it unfit for habitation. At least Mother has been spared this last outrage; they took her away yesterday afternoon in an ambulance. I hope you’re satisfied.
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Sir, Jan 5

Our client, Miss Emily Wilbraham, instructs me to inform you that with the arrival on her premises at 7:30 this morning of the entire percussion section of the Boston Symphony Orchestra, and several of their friends, she has no course left open to her but to seek an injunction to prevent you importuning her further. I am making arrangements for the return of much assorted livestock.

I am, Sir, yours faithfully,
G. Creep
Attorney at law

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, LEGALLY SPEAKING

Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at
a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter “the House”) a
general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not
limited to a mouse.

A variety of foot apparel, e.g. stocking, socks, etc., had been
affixed by and around the chimney in said House in the hope and/or
belief that St. Nick a/k/a/ St. Nicholas a/k/a/ Santa Claus
(hereinafter “Claus”) would arrive at sometime thereafter.

The minor residents, i.e. the children, of the aforementioned House
were located in their individual beds and were engaged in nocturnal
hallucinations, i.e. dreams, wherein vision of confectionery treats,
including, but not limited to, candies, nuts, and/or sugar plums, did
dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said dreams.

Whereupon the party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred
to as “I”), being the joint-owner in fee simple of the House with the
parts of the second part (hereinafter “Mamma”), and said Mamma had
retired for a sustained period of sleep. (At such time, the parties
were clad in various forms of headgear, e.g. kerchief and cap.)

Suddenly, and without prior notice or warning, there did occur upon
the unimproved real property adjacent and appurtent to said House,
i.e. the lawn, a certain disruption of unknown nature, cause and/or
circumstance. The party of the first part did immediately rush to a
window in the House to investigate the cause of such disturbance.

At that time, the party of the first part did observe, with some
degree of wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature sleigh
(hereinafter “the Vehicle”) being pulled and/or drawn very rapidly
through the air by approximately eight (8) reindeer. The driver of
the Vehicle appeared to be and in fact was, the previously referenced
Claus.

Said Claus was providing specific direction, instruction and guidance
to the approximately eight (8) reindeer and specifically indentified
the animal co-conspirators by name: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen,
Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen (hereinafter “the Deer”). (Upon
information and belief, it is further asserted that an additional co-
conspirator named “Rudolph” may have been involved.)

The party of the first part witnessed Claus, the Vehicle and the Deer
intentionally and willfully trespass upon the roofs of several
residences located adjacent to and in the vicinity of the House, and
noted that the Vehicle was heavily laden with packages, toys and
other items of unknown origin or nature. Suddenly, without prior
invitation or permission, either express or implied, the Vehicle
arrived at the House, and Claus entered said House via the chimney.

Said Claus was clad in a red fur suit, which was partially covered
with residue from the chimney, and he carried a large sack containing
a portion of the aforementioned packages, toys, and other unknown
items. He was smoking what appeared to be tobacco in a small pipe in
blatant violation of local ordinances and health regulations.

Claus did not speak, but immediately began to fill the stocking of
the minor children, which hung adjacent to the chimney, with toys and
other small gifts. (Said items did not, however, constitute “gifts”
to said minor pursuant to the applicable provisions of the U.S. Tax
Code.)

Upon completion of such task, Claus touched the side of his nose and
flew, rose and/or ascended up the chimney of the House to the roof
where the Vehicle and Deer waited and/or served as “lookouts.” Claus
immediately departed for an unknown destination.

However, prior to the departure of the Vehicle, Deer and Claus from
said House, the party of the first part did hear Claus state and/or
exclaim: “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!” Or words
to that effect.

I just found out about this group today. It’s an AWESOME men’s a capella ensemble called Straight No Chaser, which is a college group from Indiana University. They do some fantastic music, including this quite humorous rendition of the Twelve Days of Christmas that takes some surprising turns:

1. You reuse last year’s Christmas cards and send them out under your own name. (5 points)

2. You steal light bulbs from you neighbor’s outdoor display to replenish your own supply. (5 points; 10 if neighbor’s whole light set or lighted Santa goes out)

3. You have dressed a dog or cat as Santa Claus, elf helper, or reindeer. (10 points for each; if you dressed an endangered species, 5 extra points)

4. You put out last year’s stale candy canes for children. (1 point for each piece of sticky candy; if you also put out a chocolate or marzipan Santa, add 10 points)

5. You enclose a shoddy and inferior gift from Target, Wal-Mart, or K-Mart in a Bloomingdale’s or other prestige store’s box to impress your friends. (5 points for each infraction)

6. You make collect long distance phone calls to your family on Christmas day (5 points; 10 if from a cell phone claiming you are stuck in a phone booth)

7. At the office Christmas party, you horde huge stockpiles of goodies for later consumption at home. (5 points; 15 points if you use this stuff for your own party)

8. You steal the wreath from a parked car to use on your own. (Southern California & Florida only, others ignore: 5 points)

9. After an invitation to a friend’s house, you bring a commercially-produced fruitcake and try to pass it off as homemade. (5 points; 15 points if the fruitcake is from last year)

10. Taking toys from the Toys-for-Tots collection bins, which is a definite no-no. (20 points)

Evaluate your score on the “Grinch Scale” from 20 to 100:

20-30: You’re just a cheeseball.
30-50: You’re an apprentice in Yuletide larceny and are probably wanted for overdue parking tickets.
50-100: Grinch, move over!

Although it doesn’t feel like it yet, it’s just a couple days until it’s officially Fall. At 4:51 am EDT this Sunday, 23 Sept., we’ll see the Sun crossing the equator (declination of 0°) and begin our descent into the cooler and darker half of the year. (My personal favorite half.)

There is a great deal of information, including a chart with dates and times at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equinox

Current music: Realms of Grace: An Angelic Experience, by Aeoliah

Yup! September 19th is that special day! No, not the birthday of Adam West (1928), Jeremy Irons (1948), or Twiggy (1949). Well, it IS their birthday. And, no, not the anniversary of the deaths of Red Foley (1968), Orville Redenbacher (1995), or Rich Mullins (1997), although it is. It’s International Talk Like A Pirate Day!

You can find the original Talk Like A Pirate Day website at http://www.talklikeapirate.com/, where there are all kinds of links, piratey sayings, fun & games ideas, and tips for talking like a pirate.

So get prepared to shiver your timbers, matey, and celebrate this most special of days tomorrow!

Christ is risen! This has been an Easter greeting for almost 2,000 years! And the proper response is, “He is risen indeed!” It’s always nice to hear people use these greetings on Easter Sunday. It truly is the reason for the holiday and is worth celebrating.

Oh, and last night at the Easter Vigil mass I came into full communion with the Catholic Church, celebrating my confirmation and First Communion. It was incredibly moving and joyful. And I even had a friend drive down from Grand Rapids just to be here for that. He drove back this morning after the Easter service.

In case you missed the earlier post about my becoming Catholic, I wrote an essay that explains the how and why of my journey over the last few years and why I became convinced that Catholicism is not only right for me, but is the true historical Christian Church. You can read my essay here: A Pilgrimage Ends, A New Journey Begins.

He is risen indeed!!

It’s kinda funny, but there’s so much talk about the Colts playing in the Super Bowl Sunday, and Friday is always the big celebration day before games since it’s the last work day, that people have forgotten the so very important holiday that is today: GROUNDHOG DAY!

I mention it partly because nobody’s talking about it today and partly because it’s cloudy here in Indianapolis and getting colder all day today, with a chance of show this afternoon. In fact, it’s starting to flurry right now! So, what does Groundhog Day lore tell us if it’s a cloudy day? Why, it says that the groundhog WON’T see his shadow, so won’t get scared and Spring is just around the corner! Here’s what Punxsutawney Phil says. Woo-hoo!

That being said, GO COLTS!!