Here is a list of things I wish I’d known before I went out in the Real World. (Okay, I didn’t come up with these, but they’re still true.)

~ Any and all compliments can be handled by simply saying “Thank you” though it helps if you say it with a Southern accent.

~ Some people are working backstage, some are playing in the orchestra, some are on-stage singing, some are in the audience as critics, some are there to applaud.

~ Know who and where you are.

~ When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste.

~ Never continue dating anyone who is rude to the waiter.

~ If you tell a lie, don’t believe it deceives only the other person.

~ The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: “I apologize” and “You are right.”

~ Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. [MY FAVORITE!]

~ When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It’s easier to eat crow while it’s still warm.

~ If he or she says that you are too good for him — believe it.

~ I’ve learned to pick my battles; I ask myself, “Will this matter one year from now? How about one month from now? One week? One day?”

~ If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

~ Living well really is the best revenge.

~ Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just proves that the other person was right about you.

~ Be really nice to your friends because you never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan and hold your hand.

~ Work is good, but it’s not important.

~ Never underestimate the kindness of your fellow man.

~ A person needs only two tools in life: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn’t, use the tape.

~ You are the only person who can truly make you happy.

~ And finally…

Being happy doesn’t mean everything’s perfect; it just means you’ve decided to see beyond the imperfections.