Coffee Klatch

Weird Al Yankovic wrote a spoof on a song called “Ridin’ Dirty” and he called it “White & Nerdy.” It’s very funny and stars Donny Osmond dancing (not singing). I’ve included the video below, but down below that video is another. It’s the “green screen” version where you can see Al singing and Donny Osmond dancing for the whole song. Talk about “white and nerdy!” How funny!!

And here’s the one where you can see Donny Osmond being just hilarious!!

~ IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are one of hundreds of parachuting enthusiasts who bought our Easy Sky Diving book, please make the following correction: on page 8, line 7, the words “state zip code” should have read “pull rip cord.”

~ It was incorrectly reported last Friday that today is T-shirt Appreciation Day. In fact, it is actually Teacher Appreciation Day.

~ There was a mistake in an item sent in two weeks ago which stated that Ed Burnham entertained a party at crap shooting. It should have been trap shooting.

~ There are two important corrections to the information in the update on our Deep Relaxation professional development program. First, the program will include meditation, not medication. Second, it is experiential, not experimental.

~ In the City Beat section of Friday’s paper, firefighter Dwight Brady was misidentified. His nickname in the department is “Dewey.” Another firefighter is nicknamed “Weirdo.” We apologize for our mistake.

~ Our newspaper carried the notice last week that Mr. Oscar Hoffnagle is a defective on the police force. This was a typographical error. Mr. Hoffnagle is, of course, a detective on the police farce.

~ In a recent edition, we referred to the chairman of Chrysler Corporation as Lee Iacoocoo. His real name is Lee Iacacca. The Gazette regrets the error.

~ Apology: I originally wrote, “Woodrow Wilson’s wife grazed sheep on front lawn of the White House.” I’m sorry that typesetting inadvertently left out the word “sheep.”

~ In one edition of today’s Food Section, an inaccurate number of jalapeno peppers was given for Jeanette Crowley’s Southwestern chicken salad recipe. The recipe should call for two, not 21, jalapeno peppers.

~ The marriage of Miss Freda vanAmburg and Willie Branton, which was announced in this paper a few weeks ago, was a mistake which we wish to correct.

So this guy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”

He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me, I will turn back into a beautiful princess and then I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero.”

The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket.

The frog piped up again and saying, “Hey, if you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week.”

The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it once again to his pocket.

The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want.”

Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

Finally the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Come on… Why won’t you kiss me?”

The man said, “Look, I work for a software company. I don’t really have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is way cool!”

For those who’ve wondered about the difference in sizes of mattresses, I’ve posted them here to make them easier for people to find. They’re listed below from smallest to largest.

Mattress Sizes

Crib Size: 28″ x 52″

Twin Size: 39″ x 75″

Long Twin Size: 36″ x 80″

Full Size: 54″ x 75″

Queen Size: 60″ x 80″

King Size: 76″ x 80″

California King Size: 72″ x 84″

Are you looking for something new and interesting to use for your computer’s desktop wallpaper? I found a site today that has loads of free, high-quality images. It’s at VeryVeryFun.com. The search that took me to this site was looking for pictures of places in Europe. There is a very nice collection of Europe HD Wallpapers at this site, as well as lots of images in other categories, too.

A sports fan was sitting in the top row at the Super Bowl, barely able to see the field. He noticed a vacant seat about 3 rows back on the 50-yard line. It was still vacant when the second quarter started, so he went down and asked the man seated next to it if anyone was sitting there.

The man said “No, have a seat.” A few minutes later he asked the man if he knew whose seat this was and why they weren’t here at such an important event. The man said that for ten years it had been his wife’s seat but that she had passed away.

Feeling sorry for the nice man, the fan asked if he didn’t have a friend or family member that he could have offered the seat to instead of just leaving it vacant. The man said “No, they’re all at the funeral.”

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him, “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!”

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.