Here are some quotes from various late-night talk show hosts/comedians. I’ve tried to include a balanced perspective. :-)

John McCain
“He looks like a guy who’s backed over his own mailbox. He looks like the guy at the supermarket who is confused by the automatic doors. He looks like the guy at the movies whose wife has to repeat everything.” –David Letterman

“President Bush spoke at a campaign rally in support of John McCain. They raised millions and millions of dollars, most of which will be used to repair the damage of President Bush supporting John McCain at a campaign rally. So it’s kind of a wash” -Jay Leno

“It got a little heated at one point during the debate. McCain talked about experience and he said, ‘We don’t have time for on-the-job training.’ Then why did you pick Sarah Palin?” -Jay Leno

“McCain kept talking about how he could help this man. If McCain really wants to help this guy, you now what he should do? Just have him re-pipe all of McCain’s houses. That would be a job for life.” -Jay Leno, on Joe the Plumber

“John McCain may be behind but the man is a fighter. He doesn’t know the meaning of the word quit. He used to, but it was stored in the same part of his brain that remembered to vet his running mate.” -Stephen Colbert

Barack Obama
“According to recent news reports, Bill Clinton has now become an adviser to Barack Obama. Bill Clinton is giving advice to Barack Obama. Do you know who is really upset about this? Michelle Obama.” -Jay Leno

“And how about last night on all the major television networks, Barack Obama has a half-hour infomercial TV special. I mean, thank God. It’s about time this guy got some media coverage, don’t you think?” -David Letterman

“The presidential debate was a town hall format, which is John McCain’s favorite way to speak to crowds, as opposed to Barack Obama’s favorite way, a Sermon on the Mount.” –Jay Leno

“Barack Obama said today the government’s $700 billion bailout should not be a blank check. Barack Obama says he knows that $700 billion is a lot of money. In fact, it would take him at least 10 Hollywood fund raisers to come up with that kind of money.” -Jay Leno

From David Letterman’s Top Ten Questions on the Barack Obama Running Mate Application: #9: “Do you have any crazy clergymen we should know about?”

Sarah Palin
“Sarah Palin is taking heat because the Republican National Committee has so far spent $150,000 on wardrobe for her and her family. She spent $50,000 at Saks Fifth Avenue, $75,000 at Neiman Marcus and about $5,000 on hair and makeup. Hey, representing small town, common-folk hockey moms isn’t cheap, folks.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“Sarah Palin was asked a question by a third grader and she got it wrong. She apparently still does not know what the vice president does … She says he or she runs the Senate. No, not in this country. You know I would never accuse George Bush of being a bright man, but when he was elected, at least he knew which building to show up to.” -Bill Maher

“Political experts are saying that to succeed in the vice presidential debate, Sarah Palin needs to show that she has the same concerns as everyday Americans. For instance, Palin planned to start the debate by saying she’s really troubled by John McCain’s choice for vice president.” -Conan O’Brien

Joe Biden
“And as you know, they’ve already come out with a Sarah Palin action figure. And today, the Democrats released a Joe Biden action figure. It talks and talks and talks. You just can’t get the thing to shut up.” -Jay Leno

“Joe Biden is Barack Obama’s running mate. Yeah, nothing says change like a guy who’s been in the Senate for 35 years.” -David Letterman

“After his big speech in North Carolina today, Senator Joe Biden said he was experiencing a sore throat and lost his voice. Boy, the good news doesn’t stop for Barack Obama. Just one lucky break after another.” -Jay Leno