Here are some pirate jokes in honor of Talk Like A Pirate Day, which really should be celebrated ALL WEEKEND by anyone who likes pirates!
C0000||==============> (That’s supposed to be a sword!) 
Two Pirates on a ship, one says “Yarrr!”
The other says “I was just thinkin’ the same thing matey!”
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A pirate captain walks into a bar with his first mate and they sit down at the bar. Now, the pirate captain has been a little down on his luck in the world of women, know what I mean? His first mate notices some lovely piratical wenches across the bar.
“Arr, cap’n, you should go o’er thar and talk to her, ask her to dance, aye?”
The captain replied “Arrrr, but what about me one eye? What if she makes fun of it?”
“Don’t worry cap’n,” said the first mate. “She only has one leg! She won’t say anything with that one peg leg.”
Convinced, the captain went over and immediately impressed the lady as pirates will do. He asked her if she’d like to dance.
“Would EYE, Would EYE!” she exclaimed.
“Oh yeah? Well… Peg Leg! Peg Leg!” replied the insulted captain!
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Why didn’t the pirate get hungry when he was left on a desert island?
Because of all the sand which is there!
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How do pirates know when they are about to be attacked?
They watch Sea-span!
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I don’t know if you guys have heard about this new Pirate corn they’ve got now.
I guess it’s going to be like a buck an ear.
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What has 8 legs, 8 arms and 8 eyes?
8 pirates.
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After many years at sea a pirate decided to retire. Since he had suffered injuries on the job he thought that he should collect on his workers compensation insurance. He had a wooden leg, a hook where his right hand should be and a patch over his right eye. The agent assured him that he would be compensated if the injuries were work related.
“How did you get the wooden leg?”
In a booming voice the pirate replied:
“Me and me mates were on the high seas when the boom she swang ’round and knocked me into the sea where a shark bit off me leg.”
Agent: “That is certainly work related. how did you lose your hand.”
Pirate: “Well matey, me and me mates were on the high seas when the boom she swang ’round and knocked me into the sea where a shark bit off me hand.”
Agent: “That’s also work related. how did you lose your eye?” in a booming voice the pirate replied:
Pirate: “Well matey, I was layin’ on the deck one balmy day catching some rays when this seagull flew by and dropped his duty right in me eye!”
Agent: “What does that have to do with the loss of your eye?”
Pirate: “It were the first day with me hook!”
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What did Black Beard say to his men before they got on the ship?
Let’s get on the ship, men!
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Where does a pirate go to college ?
HARRRVARRRD!
Na
