Coffee Klatch

The founder of the Weather Channel is saying he will sue Al Gore (among others) for fraud. He feels that the media is only presenting one side of the global warming issue and that the whole issue is nonexistent. But since he can’t get anyone to dialog seriously about it, he figures maybe the courtroom will get the issue discussed.

“As you look at the atmosphere over the last 25 years, there’s been perhaps a degree of warming, perhaps probably a whole lot less than that, and the last year has been so cold that that’s been erased,” he said.

“I think if we continue the cooling trend a couple of more years, the general public will at last begin to realize that they’ve been scammed on this global-warming thing.”

You can read more about this news story here.

Last night someone told me that today was Pie Day. At least, that’s what I heard. I got to thinking about different kinds of pie and how fun that could be to celebrate. Then I looked on a calendar this morning and saw that it wasn’t “pie,” but “PI” Day! And then I looked at the date again and it made perfect sense! Today’s date is 3.14.

I suppose technically the Pi MOMENT was at 1:59:27 this morning. And that’s as far as I ever really learned Pi: 3.1415927. For most practical purposes, that’s good enough.

So celebrate International PI Day today! Draw some circles or measure some diameters!

Or even better, listen to this interesting take on Music a la Pi. Tom Dukich took the numbers 0-9 and made them represent a rest (0) and then notes going up a major scale. He calls it Pi to 1,000 Places: Piano Solo.

Here is another perennial “pfunny” that I’ve used a couple times in the past eight years in my Yahoo! and Google groups.

THE BIRTHDAY GIFT

For my birthday this year my wife purchased me a week of private lessons at the local health club. Though still in great shape from when I was on the varsity chess team in high school, I decided it was a good idea to go ahead and try it. I called and made reservations with someone named Tanya, who said she is a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and athletic clothing model. My wife seemed very pleased with how enthusiastic I was to get started.

They suggested I keep an “exercise diary” to chart my progress.

Day 1. Started the morning at 6:00 AM. Tough to get up, but worth it when I arrived at the health club and Tanya was waiting for me. She’s something of a goddess, with blond hair and a dazzling white smile. She showed me the machines and took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill. She seemed a little alarmed that it was so high, but I think just standing next to her in that outfit of hers added about ten points. Enjoyed watching the aerobics class. Tanya was very encouraging as I did my sit ups, though my gut was already aching a little from holding it in the whole time I was talking to her. This
is going to be GREAT.

Day 2. Took a whole pot of coffee to get me out the door, but I made it. Tanya had me lie on my back and push this heavy iron bar up into the air. Then she put weights on it, for heaven’s sake! Legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made it the full mile. Her smile made it all worth while. Muscles ALL feel GREAT.

Day 3. The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the tooth brush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I am certain that I have developed a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn’t try to steer. I parked on top of a Volkswagen. Tanya was a little impatient with me and said my screaming was bothering the other club members. The treadmill hurt my chest so I did the stair monster. Why would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by the invention of elevators? Tanya told me regular exercise would make me live longer. I can’t imagine anything worse.

Day 4. Tanya was waiting for me with her vampire teeth in a full snarl. I can’t help it if I was half an hour late, it took me that long just to tie my shoes. She wanted me to lift dumbbells. Not a chance, Tanya. The word “dumb” must be in there for a reason. I hid in the men’s room until she sent Lars looking for me. As punishment she made me try the rowing machine. It sank.

Day 5. I hate Tanya more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. If there was any part of my body not in extreme pain I would hit her with it. She thought it would be a good idea to work on my triceps. Well I have news for you Tanya - I don’t have triceps. And if you don’t want dents in the floor don’t hand me any barbells. I refuse to accept responsibility for the damage, YOU went to sadist school, YOU are to blame. The treadmill flung me back into a science teacher, which hurt like crazy. Why couldn’t it have been someone softer, like a music teacher, or social studies?

Day 6. Got Tanya’s message on my answering machine, wondering where I am. I lacked the strength to use the TV remote so I watched eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

Day 7. Well, that’s the week. Thank goodness that’s over. Maybe next time my wife will give me something a little more fun, like a gift certificate for a root canal.

Okay, this isn’t really THAT funny, but maybe somebody will get a laugh out of it or enjoy one of the puns, so here you go.

Been There, Done That… and That… and…

My first job was working in a juice factory, but I got canned . . . couldn’t concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack… I couldn’t hack it; they gave me the axe.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. Mostly ’cause it was a so-so job.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but you know, that was exhausting.

Wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it…

Then I tried to be a chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn’t have the thyme.

Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking.

And I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I really didn’t have any patients.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired from there, because I wasn’t up to it.

Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard.

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian… until I
realized there was just no future in it.

My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

SO, You got any ideas? I’m open for suggestions… maybe you have something that WORKS… because I don’t.

I got really frustrated on the way home today, because I was listening to the governor of Florida lamenting his state’s current situation with regard to the Democratic Primary and their votes not being counted.

Florida and Michigan are both in this situation because they moved their states’ primaries to earlier in the year, hoping that their states would have more say in the process. In hindsight, things are still so even between Obama and Clinton that they would have HAD their say if they’d done things properly. But they had to KNOWINGLY break the rules and move their primary date. They knew it was against the rules and even refused to talk to reporters about it afterwards.

And NOW the governor of Florida is saying he wants the votes counted. Shouldn’t he have thought about that BEFORE breaking the rules?? It sure isn’t the Democratic National Committee’s fault that his state’s voters are “disenfranchised.” But during this whole interview, he ignores the rules and keeps insisting that the best solution is to count the votes that were already cast (improperly). I was appalled. (Yes, I feel sorry for Florida (and Michigan) for their Democratic Primary votes not counting, but it’s the states’ fault.)

Give a listen at NPR’s All Things Considered.

A couple years ago, I blogged about Demotivators. You’re probably familiar with the series of inspirational posters that you may find in office settings. The ones that have a nice picture and say SUCCESS or CREATIVITY or whatever, followed by a semi-inspirational saying. The DEmotivators are a humorous and somewhat cynical parody of these posters. You can find all kinds of them at Despair.com.

Anyway, they’ve got a cool new (to me, anyway) application on their website that allows you to create your OWN “demotivators” posters. You can upload your own picture, enter your own text, and everything! Just go to http://diy.despair.com/motivator.php and walk through the steps. How cool is THAT?! You can create your own posters and save the images or even purchase actual posters, just like the real ones!

Enjoy!

You can see in the right sidebar, in the section called Orthodox Links, that I’ve provided some links to websites that can introduce you to what the Orthodox Church is all about. I found another good site today that has some excellent links to articles and essays that discuss not only Church History and Dogma, but the Orthodox views on all kinds of things, including prayer, the Bible, icons, symbolism, worship, sacraments, etc.

Here is a really good quote from the website (it’s from Christ the Savior Orthodox Church in Cincinnati, OH) that summarizes who the Orthodox Church is:

THE ORTHODOX CHURCH is evangelical, but not Protestant. It is orthodox, but not Jewish. It is catholic, but not Roman. It isn’t non-denominational, it is pre-denominational. It has believed, taught, preserved, defended and died for the Faith of the Apostles since the Day of Pentecost nearly 2000 years ago in 33 A.D.

If you’re at all curious, I encourage you to visit the website and take a look at some of the articles they’ve made available. They’re VERY helpful and informative, and still easy to read. Find out more about the Church that has stayed faithful to the doctrines taught by Christ and His Apostles and clarified by the Seven Ecumenical Councils. (So many Americans are unfamiliar with the Orthodox Church; be the first on your block to know about it!)

Indianapolis sure seems to have a LARGE number of potholes this year. It’s been bad before, but with the constant changes of temperature above and below freezing this year, I think it’s worse than usual.

Do you know of a pothole in your area of Indianapolis that needs to be repaired? (Granted, it’d be nice if more roads got totally resurfaced, but a patch will at least get us through the winter.) The city has been pretty good about repairing potholes once they KNOW about them. To notify the city and request a pothole fix, you need to notify the Mayor’s Action Center. You can call them at 317-327-4622 or you can fill out a simple online form at: http://www.indygov.org/eGov/Mayor/mac.htm

You can use this form to report any of the following:

• Abandoned/Inoperable Vehicles
• Dead Animals
• Drainage Problems
• Graffiti Removal
• High Weeds/Grass
• Illegal Dumping
• Illegal Signs
• Potholes/Asphalt Repair
• Street Signs
• Tree/Brush Removal

So help yourself and others by reporting those potholes when you find them. If you bookmark this link, it will just take you a minute and save some cars.

I took last Friday off from work and spent the weekend with my “handbell peeps” (I can’t believe I just said that) at Spring Ring 2008 in Cincinnati, Ohio. We left Friday during the day and didn’t get home until around midnight Sunday morning.

Handbell festivals like this are sponsored by the American Guild of English Handbell Ringers (AGEHR) and by the “area” or region where it’s located. The typical agenda is an opening concert, followed by a brief rehearsal. Then on the following day rehearsals and class sessions alternating in the morning and again in the afternoon. Then a final runthru and a concert that’s free and open to the public. Then everyone packs up and goes home. (The concert this year was very well publicized and I was told had almost 800 in attendance.)

Most festivals involve groups coming and playing some music all together. The “mass ring” music is usually not too difficult, so every can do it. Then there is some other music broken up by category. You have to choose whether you’re “Tin Level” (easier) or “Copper Level” (medium). There’s also a “Bronze Level,” but there aren’t too many groups that can play at that level, so that kind of music is usually reserved for separate festivals and events.

While the Tins are rehearsing, the Coppers are attending a class session (or browsing the vendors or taking a nap), and then the two groups switch. The clinician/director for the weekend was Hart Morris, who is a highly respected handbell composer & director. He’s known for writing rhythmically challenging pieces that use percussion creatively. He’s also a clinician with a great sense of humor and infinite patience! He kept everyone excited and happy throughout the weekend; even when he had to correct people (sometimes multiple times), he did it with a sense of humor that buoyed people’s spirits despite having to be corrected. As a ginormous ensemble (over 700 ringers this weekend), we improved a TON in just a couple rehearsals, thanks to Hart’s excellent direction and people skills. In this area, it was probably the most enjoyable handbell festival I’ve been to.

During Saturday’s afternoon classes, one of the sessions was called “Bronze Feud.” It involved people arriving in teams of four (unless you were just there to observe and cheer on your favorite team) and having to figure out how to play some music given to you. Our team, “Team Van” (named after the fact that our team also had carpooled to Cincinnati together) included Becky, Michelle, Karen, and me (in picture order below). We thought that it was going to involve actual music, but it was really just some figures put together by the people running the game. For example, the first round was a descending G major scale in eighth notes. The first thing you had to do was figure out how your team was going to play it and the second thing was to get through it as many times as possible in THIRTY SECONDS. That’s what really changed the dynamic (pardon the pun). They also did give some points for “style.” Our team felt rather dominant until a team of high schoolers got up there and just WHIPPED through it. We could see right then that they would be our major competitors.

There were four rounds, which got progressively harder, and I think there were 13 teams total. We were SECOND, which meant we didn’t have much time to prepare. For the second round, we were FIRST and it moved on from there. We actually thought it worked out pretty well for us, since we had to go very early on the first two and then were at the end for the next two, which were harder. That gave us a chance to watch other groups and talk through any potential difficulties we saw. It helped that for the third round the high schoolers got a couple of bells mixed up early in and never fixed it. That meant nobody played it right after that mixup. It was still close, but we had some STYLE in the last round. So even though it was difficult and hardly any groups got through it at all, the gyros we did each time on the final whole note pushed us into first place.

Even though the prizes were Burger King crowns with “gems” glued on and little foam pins of “First Place” ribbons, we were walking pretty tall that afternoon. It’s more about ego and bragging rights than it is prizes, anyway, right?

“It’s good to be da king!”