Here are some Deep Thoughts from Jack Handey:
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.
If they ever come up with a Swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you’ll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it’s not, mmmmmmm, boy.
To me, clowns aren’t funny. In fact, they’re kinda scary. I’ve wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.
Laurie got offended that I used the word “puke.” But to me, that’s what her dinner tasted like.
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is “God is crying.” And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is “Probably because of something you did.”
If you want more, there’s also a ton on this website.
[tags]humor, deep thoughts[/tags]
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