Here’s how to install a wireless security system. (Thanks to Topher for this bit o’humor. I got this from him today via IM, not his blog.)

Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men’s used work boots… A really big pair. Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine.

Put a dog dish beside it. A really big dish. Leave a note on your front door that says something like this:

“Bubba, Big Mike, and I have gone to get more ammunition - back in 30 minutes. Don’t disturb the pit bulls, they’ve just been wormed.”